Triumphs and Tragedies, Hopes and Regrets
by theirishdreamer
Summary: The Lone Wanderer remembers the events of his life as news from the Commonwealth brings back old memories... (One shot of Fallout 3 character set at the conclusion of Fallout 4)


**Triumphs and Tragedies, Hopes and Regrets**

 **[22nd January 2288]  
[Saloon, Megaton, Capital Wasteland]**

 _...just a weary exile singing my song of lone-liiiii-nessss..._

The old radio on the counter hummed to my side as I rested my weary arms on the counter and gave a smile of sorts at the familiar face behind it "Whiskey Gob, you can give me the bottle"

"Celebrating somethin' smoothskin, or feeling down after things ye saw on the road? Bit early fer you to be startin' into hard boozin' like that after coming back from the Wastes. Usually ya rest up a bit before comin' here" came back along with the faint thunk of the bottle before me as I gave a tired chuckle.

"Little bit of both Gob, maybe just a bit of both..." I answered taking the bottle into hand "...anyway, business been good while I was out with the caravans in the Commons? And how are your mother and Greta doing?"

Gob was a much better owner of the Saloon since Moriarty's unfortunate... _accident_...all those years ago. And the place had certainly got cleaner and better stocked since his 'mother' and her partner had arrived despite the circumstances behind the move. Just another of those bitter little aftertastes of all those victories, another triumph tainted with tragedy unknown at the time. Underworld's residents had been nice enough folks I'd found, mostly anyway, when I'd first blundered into them all those years ago. Really, they hadn't deserved what happened in the end...

"Ah they're well, over at Craterside Supply so probably see them and Moira ere' later on in the night"

I glanced at the bottle, then at Gob "Don't let Moira go convincin' me ta do anything more stupid than well...usual, cuz last time we nearly ended up skinny dippin' in the Potomac to test...something or other I can't recall now. Or want to probably. You've no idea how many radaways and stims that little escapade took to stop me...and her...ending dead"

Because Moira was great, gave me fanastic discounts and contacts...but damn if that lunatic could talk me into doing incredibly stupid, _life-threateningly stupid,_ things over the years. Exactly _how_ she managed to convince me was still beyond me other than booze and her inserting 'quests' on my pip-boy were bad...and then sudden it was waking up in the middle of nowhere with cannibals or super-mutants chasing me. Considering the mood I was in, and the nature of the past few days, it really wasn't something I wanted to have to deal with right now on top of everything. Gob gave me a thumbs up as I unscrewed the bottle and drank down a good solid slug of the drink, burning my throat on the way down as ever. Hopefully this time around I wouldn't have agreed to infiltrate a Mirelurk nest I thought moving over to the corner...

 _"_ _Why do you knuckle draggers always insist on doing things the hard way? Very well Sherriff, lead the way"_

...full of old memories as ever. Burke had been trained, Burke had been fast, and Burke had gotten the drop on Lucas...but I'd been faster than him. Somehow, someway instinct had taken over. Hand moving before the brain commanded and then...

'Bang. Bang. Bang. No more Mr. Burke' I mused sitting in the seat nearby to the spot. Back then it had been all so strange and terrifying, not just all that violence to find out that I was _good_ at it. _Good_ at the violence, at the killing, being able to just move and kill like shooting radroaches back in the Vault's Reactor when I'd first gotten my BB gun. Hyper-focused, just move and bang, their dead and your alive. Here one minute, gone the next. Dad would be horrified...well saddened...to see that side of me I suspected. After all, I certainly was when I thought on the matter. Sure they'd been bad people, but right did I have to judge and gun them down?

 _"_ _They say the GOAT never lies. According to this, you're slated to be the next Vault...Chaplain. God help us all"_

Another shot to make the memories stop a moment, and then I fiddled with my old battered Pip-Boy to review the message I'd received as the caravan had passed Grayditch. I'm sure the news would spread fast, along with the celebrations and fighting sure to come in the wake, but for now it should be fairly contained. I was still pretty popular within the Brotherhood of Steel despite all that Arthur had been trying to do since Sarah passed away. Sarah, my Sarah...

 _"_ _Send the Pride In. We Can Do It. We Can Win This!"_

"Yes we did, didn't we? To victory eh Sarah? To another victory..." I whispered softly, raising a glass to the smiling ghost before downing it as she vanished into the mists of time just like everyone else. Just like everyone else. I was such a bad luck charm at times...God above it was the strangest that could set my off wasn't it? Then again life was funny like that, if I didn't laugh at it then it'd break me and I'd end up eating a bullet...either a raiders or one of my own. It'd been like that since the first moment I'd stepped out into the blinding light from that cave, and reality came crashing down upon me...

I shook my head at that. I shouldn't complain really; the nerdy kid that had walked out of Vault 101 should have been dead within a week, let alone just passing away my thirtieth birthday here in Gob's Saloon. It was funny how things went really, even the old trusty 10mm at the my side was the weapon of a man who'd wanted dead, given by his daughter who'd tried to save me. Perhaps I was just too sentimental at times, but the surname scratched into the handle just held to many memories...both joyous and painful to throw away really. Clean, repair...and it served me well the past decade. Well, for things that didn't shrug off the calibre anyway.

'Well, Arthur is dead. I...don't know whether to laugh or cry' I thought tiredly knowing that the general reaction within Megaton would be barely concealed glee most likely. Elder Maxson was not a popular fellow with anyone outside the Brotherhood after all, then again the Brotherhood themselves weren't overly popular these days outside of their stomping grounds deeper in the city. Sarah and her Father had been loved, but Arthur had said better to be feared than loved and nobody but nobody crossed then Brotherhood Steel in the Capital and that had brought stability. Between the goodwill left over from defeating the Enclave, and stabilising the worst areas that had been enough for most people in the city...well, unless they were Ghouls and Supermutants. Elder Maxson did not like those, and had only tolerated Megaton's population due to my old 'friendship' as he'd put it.

I'd known then not to press my luck any further back then, not after the lessons of Rivet City when he'd still gotten the reactor he wanted. I snorted to myself in bitter amusement. All that violence to get that reactor, and it seemed that the airship had gone down to artillery armed wasteland militia of all things. God, I'd seen Arthur take down a Deathclaw singlehanded, mow down squads of supermutants and ghouls...even now it was hard to think of him being dead like that. We'd warned him trying to play conqueror like that would be death of him someday, till he'd sent those of us who'd said so away. I'd just never imagined it would be so _soon_...

'But why am I surprised? It's ever so with me isn't it? No one ever stays long...every triumph bringing with it a tragedy. Convince Eden to end his Enclave and see the Brotherhood take on some of their guise, help bring back clean water and see it used as a means to control the Capitol Wasteland. Help save your home and be kicked out because you've scared them so...'

 _"_ _It'll be a while before we're actually ready to go outside. But once the Vault is stable again, maybe we'll see you there"_

Eight years on, and it never stopped hurting...

Life, life wasn't I'd found. Didn't matter what you did, who you helped, and all such things...the wastes were just a cruel and harsh place, and that was just the way it was. Never expect gratitude, or at the least never expect it last long anyway I thought with a sad smile; from that little asshole McCready, to Dad's friend with a continent wide crush, it seemed memories grew short as every moved on and took advantage of generosity offered. But...that didn't matter; a man was bound to his own conscience, and it didn't matter if everyone was like that _I_ didn't have to be. _No matter how much it hurt..._

"Another bottle Gob!" and the world began to ease back into other times, other places. Not here and now thinking of the coming power struggle now that Arthur Maxson was dead, the rebellions that would follow, and the raiders and super-mutants that would try to exploit those problems. Nor about all the violence he'd have to bring out of his back of tricks to help deal with it. No, those were for another day, another time...

 _... ough things may look very dark  
Your dream is not in vain  
For when do you find the rainbow?  
Only after rain  
So wish on the moon  
And someday it may be tomorrow  
You will suddenly hear chimes  
And you'll have your happy, happy times_

 _So wish on the moon  
And someday it may be tomorrow  
You will suddenly hear chimes  
And you'll have your happy, happy times._

GNR just wasn't the same since Three Dog had been replaced with one of Elder Arthur Maxson's preferred lackeys, but the songs were still good. And it wasn't like there was anyone else on the air anymore. Well, other than old Agatha for a few hours every day I remembered smiling at the memory; that crazy old bidey just seemed to live forever. Least some people remembered, and to show a little light into the darkness of the Wastes for even a little bit of each day. Made it all seem worthwhile while out wandering the Wastes, almost like there wasn't the being alone part of people calling me the Lone Wanderer. Even...well, even if it was just for a few moments...

Ohhh...world was getting blurry, and isn't that Moira?

Yup, it is. Time to head home then...and there is still a half full bottle! Fantastic, come with me my lovely little friend. Let us fast travel home! Adventure awaits...however briefly it might be for you Mr. Whiskey!

"Thesh shwings are the wustiest, the twrees are de...somethingisht! Way baccckkkk hoommmmeeee!"

The moon was full in the sickly night sky as I strode purposely forward towards my home. Making a wish as I went. Nobody bothered me, beyond one or two friendly waves as I exited the Saloon, though that could be because the last would be assassin robber had made a face down flight over the railings down to where those loonies from the Children of Atom worshipped. Damned glad I fixed that bloody bomb, because the lunatics would probably set it off after some 'divine' inspiration. Honestly I still didn't get how they'd ever managed to become so widespread in the Wastes. You'd think natural selection would kill them off?

"Whadsworthssss! Buwdy!" I announced opening the door and coming face to face with my gloriously cheerful and terrible joke creating Mr. Handy. Trying to tell me something it looked like as I overrode the likely terrible joke about to emerge as I strode passed and plonked into couch I'd managed to acquire through the crazy lady in the supply shop "...Nohshings needed buddy, thakes a break eh! Or cleans the fwoors, whatevas! Smile an' da world shmiles wiff ya!"

"JJ?" an amused and confused sounding feminine voice asked and I glanced to the seats near the doorway. I smiled at the sight...these were the best hallucinations I found as I glanced at half-full bottle and nodded to it in thanks.

"Tanks Mr. Whishy, dis one ah the better ones..." then turned back to the two women in the Vault security armour, backpacks on the ground beside them along with their assault rifles. That was also new, usually Amata looked as she was in her skin tight jumpsuit all those years ago rather than 'aged up' and looking all Overseery and all that. That and...well Susie Mack? Seriously sub-conscious you couldn't pick Christine Kendell rather than the dude whose brother I killed? That's messed up dude! Messsssedddd upppppp!

"Heyysss Dreams Ladies! Lookin' super-duper ghorgeous! Specially' you Mata! Didya's ever knows ah hads de bighhesht crush on youse when ah we were younger. Cuz I dids ya know. Anyyywaayssss..." I gestured at my Hall of Science "...wehsomes toos me humblesss abodes! Taddas! Wanderers Rhest!"

Hallucination Susie Mack was laughing so hard she was struggling to stay in the chair while Hallucination Amata had gone the brightest shade of red and was making choking sounds. Yup, mixing refined Punga Fruit with the Whiskey had resulted in an amusing sort of high "Nows whats can ahs do fer such beautiful and smexy ladies shush ash youse? Imma here ta help..."

I chuckled to myself resting back in the chair and closing my eyes. Here to help, I was always there to help like the fool I was. A hand grabbed my ear and yanked up as the laughter continued loudly while Wadsworth asked if someone wanted something "Now you listen here JJ. You are going to bed and then in the morning we can have a nice long chat. Like the nice long emotional one I had in my head before leaving the Vault. God, you are still the same..."

Wow, this must be some strong ass booze because that feels almost like...


End file.
